Dealing with depression is one of the hardest things you’ll do in life.  However, there is hope!  The best way to overcome depression is to first understand how depression creeps into your life.  I call this “being aware of your slide pattern.”  In my case depression starts slowly and progresses slowly until I reach the level of feeling about 50% normal. At that point I drop precipitously in my mood to 0%.  In the 0% stage, I am sooooo depressed that I don’t even know the telephone exists to be able to get help.  This state is equivalent to being wrapped tightly in black cellophane.  You can’t see anything that surrounds you.  You can only see inward pain.  This is a dangerous state to be in.

So how do you prevent yourself from getting to zero which is full deep depression?  First understand your slide pattern.  Mine looks like the picture below.

Once you know your slide pattern you have to catch yourself before you fall to zero.  Once you get to say the 25-50% mood state, call a friend and say you need help.  Friends want to give you this gift of help.  It makes them feel good and it makes you feel good too.  Other tricks are to do things that make you feel good, things you like to do … eat out, go hiking, go swimming ….. but the essential prescription in all of this is just three steps:

1) Know your slide pattern
2) Tell yourself it’s OK to reach out to others for help and reach out when you reach the 25-50% mood level.
3) And by all means tell someone how you’re feeling over and over again if you have to.

Author: Patti Tillotson, Survivor of her daughter’s suicide.
Help me raise money: StepsForSteph.com
Get Help: Suicide.org

We never stop asking a million questions.  Why me? Why my loved one?  What could I have done?  What did I miss?  Why didn’t he/she ask me for help?  All of these questions are a never ending carousel of motion in our minds.  Sure, the questions come and go with intermittency intervals that are sometimes long and sometimes short.  But the carousel is always there.

Survivors of suicide are compassionate and loving people.  We have forged the worst life has to offer and have a great desire to prevent others from experiencing this devastation and shattering of hearts.  We listen carefully to people and their problems.  We are accepting of people as they are whether they are blue, brown, beautiful, talkative, shy, smart, simple, short or tall.   We love them all!

We experience life in more fullness and clarity than others.  We live in the present moment more often, see more intense red on roses or fractional shades of blue in the sky.  Life is precious to us.  I saw a bumblebee taking an afternoon nap once and thought this was the most precious gift God could have given me that day.  We pay attention to a single leaf floating to the ground from above.  We see the glimmer of light poka dotting a sandy beach.  We live each day to its fullest.

We are handicapped but not crippled.  We love, we laugh, we hope, we cry, we cry and then we cry some more ……. but life is still good.

Author: Patti Tillotson, Survivor of her daughter’s suicide.
Help me raise money: StepsForSteph.com
Get Help: Suicide.org

So … be very careful and fully aware of your mental state when first adopting medications and when changing doses.  Keep on a regular schedule with your meds.  Don’t stop taking your meds if additional symptoms occur but, call your doctor immediately.  Remember, pay attention to your moods.  You may be the only safety net between life and death.

Putting my life back together has been a very difficult process.   When I got back to work, I found they had moved me to a different position with no responsibility.  I felt it was the most evil action anyone could have taken against me.  The school district in which my daughter’s high school was housed would not let me meet with Stephanie’s friends on campus after school to talk about our grief.  Their philosophy was if you don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist, and it won’t happen again.  Yes, stigma is alive and well.

I was asked the following year by Stephanie’s Senior Class Council to give the graduation speech at what would have been my daughter’s high school graduation.  Again the school district disallowed me from being a part of the ceremony.  Her name went unmentioned.

I quit my job, lost my next 2 jobs, then was diagnosed with breast cancer.  After undergoing radiation therapy I am fully cured but life has definitely been an uphill struggle. I think people, even my closest friends believe that I should “be better” by now.  But I really can’t tell you what “better” looks like other than giving and receiving love.  It’s the only thing I live for now.

I take an active role to prevent suicide.  We have about 33,000 deaths by suicide a year in the U.S.  This is more deaths than deaths by homicide!  If I save just one single life, I will feel successful.  My hope is to end the stigma associated with mental illness, foster better coordination of mental health care among those who treat us:  counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists.  I also hope for zero suicides and a society that will begin to understand that mental illness is just a brain disease like any othe.  It CAN be managed and should not be feared.

This is the way mental health care should work.  Absolute and seamless coordination of my personal care among psychologists, psychiatrists, and mental health facilities coordinating my care.

I urge you, the patient, and mental health professionals to demand this kind of orchestrated care.  It’s made the treatment of cancer much more effective, efficient and successful.  Shouldn’t we ask the same of our mental health care?

 How to Help a Friend
 
There is no room for guessing, assuming, or taking chances or risks with another person’s life, especially when they are at risk for suicide. We can’t predict the future. If you feel – even in the slightest - worried, anxious, scared, uncomfortable, unsure, or frightened by what you are seeing and hearing from a friend, you MUST take action.
 
IN AN ACUTE CRISIS:  TAKE ACTION
·            Take the individual to an emergency room, or mental health walk-in clinic.
·            Do not leave them alone until help is available.
·            Remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs, or sharp objects that could be used in a suicide attempt
 
Taking action may involve talking with others, a responsible school authority, or a mental health professional. Don’t try to do it alone. It is often best to involve others in helping someone at increased risk. Here are some ways to be helpful to someone who is threatening suicide or who is engaged in suicidal behaviors:
 
·          Be aware – learn the risk factors and warning signs for suicide.
·          Be direct – talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide, about what you have observed, and what are your concerns for their well-being
·          Be willing to listen – allow expressions of feelings, accept the feelings, and be patient
·          Be non-judgmental – don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or whether feelings are good or bad. Don’t lecture on the value of life.
·          Don’t give advice – by making decisions for someone else
·          Get involved – become available, show interest, understanding and support.
·          Don’t dare him or her to do it
·          Don’t act shocked – depression is real, common and treatable. Suicidal feelings are real and preventable.
·          Don’t ask “why”
·          Don’t be sworn to secrecy
·          Offer hope that alternatives are available – but do not offer glib reassurances that any one alternative will turn things around
·          Take action – remove lethal means of self-harm, such as pills, ropes, and alcohol or other drugs
·          Get help from others with more experience and expertise
·          Be actively involved in encouraging the person to see a professional
 
Individuals contemplating suicide often don’t believe that they can helped, so you may have to be more active and more persistent in helping them get the help they need.
If a friend has a problem, it’s easy to feel helpless and confused. Don’t try to deal with the situation alone, even if your friend wants to swear you to secrecy. Helping them is much easier if you have a little help from other friends, family or professionals.
You can also make things easier by just being a good friend. Be direct and honest. Encourage getting help without sitting in judgment, acting shocked or suggesting that you have all the answers. Don’t be skeptical or dismissive. And – above all – be available and listen.
 
SYMPTOMS
Many people at some time in their lives think about dying by suicide. Most decide to live because they eventually come to realize that the crisis is temporary and death in permanent. However, people having a crisis sometimes perceive their dilemma as inescapable and feel an utter loss of control. Frequently they may experience some of the following thoughts and feelings:
 
·          Can’t think clearly
·          Can’t make decisions
·          Can’t see any way out
·          Can’t sleep, eat or work
·          Can’t get out of a depression
·          Can’t make the sadness go away
·          Can’t see a future without pain
·          Can’t see themselves as worthwhile
·          Can’t get someone’s attention
·          Can’t seem to get control over their lives
If you experience these thoughts and feelings, GET HELP.   If someone you know exhibits or reports these thoughts and feelings, OFFER HELP.
 
Where to Get Help
 
Help is often available on campuses through the following resources:
student counseling center student health service staff resident hall director, dean, academic advisor, tutor, faculty campus religious or spiritual leader community mental health center

Check Yourself

Of course, it’s hard to get a good, objective perspective on our own thoughts and feelings. One thing that can help is taking this confidential and anonymous screening, either for yourself or a friend. Answering this simple series of questions can provide some valuable insight into your state of mind.
http://www.ulifeline.com